Lately, I’ve been reflecting more than usual—perhaps because I have more time, because I’m feeling more emotional, or simply because I’m growing older. One question has been at the forefront of my thoughts: What is the most important relationship we have, and why? Relationships are fundamental to human happiness.
From our earliest bond with our mother to the friendships and partnerships we build over time, our connections shape our well-being, success, and emotional fulfillment. But among all these relationships, which one matters the most?
And how does it influence our overall happiness?

The Science of Relationships and Happiness.

When we think about happiness, we often associate it with achievements—career
success, financial stability, or personal milestones. However, research suggests that the true key to happiness lies in the quality of our relationships.

Key studies that support this idea:
● The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that good relationships are the strongest predictor of long-term happiness and health;
● Diener & Seligman (2002) found that the happiest individuals have deep and meaningful relationships;
● The Grant Study (Vaillant, 2012) demonstrated that warmth in relationships leads to greater well-being;
● Baumeister & Leary’s (1995) research emphasized that belonging is a fundamental human motivation.

The Most Important Relationship: The One with Yourself If relationships are the foundation of happiness, then our relationship with
ourselves is the cornerstone. The more comfortable we are with ourselves, the better our connections with others become. Research supports this idea, showing that self-awareness and self-acceptance lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Nurturing Self-Connection

In order to cultivate positive relationships with others, it is essential to first develop
a strong relationship with ourselves. In my experience, here are three key practices
that can help along this journey:
1. Spending time alone – Self-reflection allows us to understand our thoughts, emotions, and desires without external influence.
2. Practicing self-compassion – Being kind to ourselves creates an internal sense of security that extends to our interactions with others.
3. Spiritual connection – For some, a relationship with a higher power or personal spiritual practice deepens self-awareness and strengthens the ability to love others more fully.
These insights echo the principles of Baumeister & Leary’s work on belonging—our
ability to form meaningful relationships starts with an internal sense of self- acceptance and emotional security.
Romanelli, H. (2025) Connection

What Makes a Relationship Truly Positive?
Throughout my journey, I’ve noticed that the best relationships—whether with friends, family, or partners—share common characteristics:
● Closeness and intimacy: The ability to be vulnerable without fear of judgment.
● Support and encouragement: Feeling seen, valued, and uplifted by those around us.
● Mutual growth: Relationships that inspire us to become better versions of ourselves.
The Grant Study found that the warmth of relationships influences every aspect of our well-being, from career success to mental health. When we surround ourselves with people who truly care for us, we become more resilient, joyful, and fulfilled.

Further Reflections on Self-Knowledge and Happiness
Self-knowledge and self-esteem include recognizing our limitations and flaws—those aspects of ourselves that require work and growth. Kierkegaard said: "Happiness opens the doors inward, but one must step back a little to be able to move forward." Happiness is found from the inside out, through opening ourselves to others.

Final Thoughts: Cultivating Connection for a Happier Life So, what is the most important relationship we have? While all relationships hold
significance, the one we have with ourselves sets the foundation for all others. When we nurture self-love, self-awareness, and self-acceptance, we become better friends,
partners, and family members.
The research is clear: Happiness is not found in isolation but in the richness of our relationships. Whether through deep friendships, meaningful family bonds, or a spiritual connection, the key to a fulfilling life is investing in relationships that nourish and uplift us.