June 30, 2024

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By

Katherina Capra

Loneliness is an integral part of our journey through life. It is not merely being alone but rather a state of distress or discomfort stemming from a perception that one is socially isolated (1). Though our need to connect is innate, many of us frequently feel alone. Research suggests that loneliness poses serious threats to well-being, as well as long-term physical health (2). The latest research indicates that a lack of social interaction is linked to a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, and other health issues, highlighting the necessity of connection for human existence (3). 

Loneliness is a common experience (4): as many as 80% of those under 18 years of age and 40% of adults over 65 years of age report being lonely at least sometimes, with levels of loneliness gradually diminishing through the middle adult years and then increasing in old age (i.e., ≥70 years). Yet, as highlighted recently by U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy (5), loneliness is a public health epidemic. A 2024 poll by the American Psychiatric Association revealed that 30% of adults feel lonely at least once a week, and 10% experience loneliness daily (6). This feeling is particularly prevalent among younger adults aged 18-34 and single individuals, It extends not only to adults but also to children. They, too, can experience loneliness (7), which significantly impacts their mental health, leading to anxiety and depressive disorders.

Now that we understand how prevalent the feeling of loneliness is within the population, we can break the stigma surrounding it. Social support is a key factor in combating loneliness. According to Robert Waldinger, Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, individuals who have the strongest bonds with others tend to lead happier, healthier, and longer lives as they age (8). The above-mentioned APA poll indicates that Americans feel the highest sense of belonging within their families (65%), among friends (53%), and in their neighborhoods (20%). Technology also plays a significant role, with 75% of Americans agreeing that it aids in maintaining connections, serving as a powerful tool in the fight against loneliness (APA). Recognizing the importance of companionship, appreciating others' existence, and acknowledging that their contributions live on in us are essential for fostering connections. This understanding brings peace and reinforces the idea that we are not alone. However, it is not solely an individual's responsibility to combat loneliness. Community efforts and the role of clinicians are equally vital in addressing and mitigating the effects of this pervasive issue.

In my experience, I became more aware of loneliness as I reached adulthood. It was at this stage that I gained a deeper understanding of it. Reflecting on my own journey, I recall a time in my mid-twenties when I moved to a new city for work. The excitement of a fresh start quickly faded as the reality of being alone in an unfamiliar place set in. I remember spending evenings in my small apartment, feeling the weight of loneliness pressing down on me. During this period, I began to understand the importance of building meaningful connections. Joining local clubs and volunteering helped me meet people and create a sense of community. I found solace in these interactions, realizing that others were also seeking connection and understanding. These experiences taught me that loneliness is a shared human experience, and reaching out to others can help alleviate its burden. Finding a balance between solitude and social interaction is crucial. Solitude can be a time for self-reflection and personal growth, but too much of it can lead to feelings of isolation. On the other hand, social interactions can provide support and companionship but may also feel overwhelming if not balanced with time for oneself. One strategy that has worked for me is scheduling regular social activities while carving out solitude time. For instance, I make it a point to have weekly dinners with friends and family, but I also dedicate time each day to activities like reading, meditating, or simply enjoying nature. This balance helps me stay connected with others while also nurturing my inner self.

In today’s digital age, technology plays a significant role in how we connect with others. Social media platforms and communication tools have made staying in touch with loved ones easier, regardless of distance. However, it’s important to use these tools mindfully. While technology can bridge the gap between people, it can also contribute to feelings of isolation if used as a substitute for real-life interactions. Personally, I’ve found that video calls and messaging apps are invaluable for maintaining long-distance relationships. However, I make an effort to meet friends and family in person whenever possible. There’s something irreplaceable about face-to-face interactions—the warmth of a hug, the shared laughter, and the sense of presence that technology can’t fully replicate.

Loneliness is a near-universal experience, shaping our journey through life. As external attributes like beauty, strength, power, and intellect begin to fade, our spirit and beliefs remain constant. In my experience, cultivating an understanding of life that transcends material attachments becomes crucial. The legacy we leave through our time, wisdom, and presence creates lasting connections with others. Recognizing that a part of us lives on in those we’ve impacted brings peace and acceptance of our mortality. 

 By understanding and embracing it, we can create meaningful connections and leave a lasting legacy. In my own life, I’ve learned that embracing loneliness and finding a balance between solitude and social interaction has been key to personal growth and connection. By sharing our experiences and reaching out to others, we can navigate the journey of life side by side, finding comfort in the knowledge that we are all in this together. Let’s strive to build supportive communities and foster relationships that remind us we are never truly alone.

About the Author

Katherina is a management consultant, ICF-certified coach, executive leader, and certified positive psychology expert. She has a proven history of enhancing organizational capacity, leadership competencies, and creativity for global Fortune 500 companies, governments, and non-profits. She demonstrates outstanding strategic agility and interpersonal skills with extensive experience in international corporate leadership, start-ups, government advisory roles, and academia. She is also an expert at partnering with talent at all levels to assess needs and drive growth. Katherina is multilingual in English, Spanish, German, and Italian.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherinacapra/

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